St Patrick's day fun

I like this, especially as I fly Aer Lingus twice a week to/from Dublin!

Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night, with Paddy the Pilot, and Seamus the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window.

"B’jeesus" said Paddy "Will ye look at how fookin short dat runway is".
"You’re not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Seamus.
"Dis is gonna be one a’ de trickiest landings you’re ever gonna see" said Paddy.
"You’re not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Seamus.
"Right Shamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse" said Paddy.
"Right, I’ll be doing dat" replied Seamus.
"And den ye put de flaps down straight away" said Paddy.
"Right, I’ll be doing dat" replied Seamus.
"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can" said Paddy.
"Right, I’ll be doing dat" replied Seamus.
"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a’ your soul" said Paddy.
"I be doing dat already" replied Seamus.

So they approached the runway with Paddy and Seamus full of nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Seamus put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul.

Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Seamus and everyone on board. As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Seamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest fookin runway I have EVER seen in me whole life". Seamus looked out the side window and replied…."Yeah Paddy, but look how fookin wide it is".

Aer Lingus cheaper than Ryanair

How Aer Lingus is cheaper than Ryanair. This'll annoy Michael O'Leary.

This is my weekly flight, so these are real figures based on looking at the relative websites today and booking my usual route with my usual baggage allowance and my usual credit card. I have excluded seat booking costs from this as I don't need to choose my seat in advance. Both airlines of course are guilty for advertising headline air fares without including all the mandatory charges (including tax and any booking fees).


Cost Aer Lingus = £109.75. Cost Ryanair = £194.20
Aer Lingus markup over flight cost = 214%
Ryan air markup over flight cost = 285%

Ryan Air are not only more expensive for my journey option but there's no loyalty scheme and I would have to queue at the airport to pay the excess baggage fee.

Booking parameters:

Route Edinburgh - Dublin on 02 March 2009 (need to fly from Edinburgh as it's an early start)
Dublin - Edinburgh/Glasgow on March 06 March 2009 (can fly back to either Glasgow or Edinburgh, doesn't matter to me).
Flying with 17Kg of hold bags
Compared on Sunday afternoon, 22nd Feb 2009


Aer Lingus Edinburgh-Dublin-Edinburgh

Flight £19.99 + £74.99 = £94.98

Including taxes and charges (except the processing charge) = £141.75

Handling charge = £8
Total to fly = £149.75
Bag charge £20
Total to pay = £169.75

cost for mandatory extras on top of the flight cost = ((169.75-94.98)/94.98)*100 =78%


Aer Lingus Edinburgh-Dublin-Glasgow

Flight £19.99 + £14.99 = £34.98

Including taxes and charges (except the processing charge) = £81.75

Handling charge = £8

Total to fly = £89.75
Bag charge = £20

Total to pay = £109.75

costs for Mandatory Extras on top of the flight cost = ((109.75-34.98)/34.98)*100 = 214%


Ryanair Edinburgh-Dublin-Edinburgh

Flight £0.49+£49.99= £50.48

Including taxes and charges = £96.20

Add bag handling = £28.50

Add Mastercard fee £9.50

Add excess bag costs 2Kg (over) * £15 per kilo * 2 (per flight) = £60

Total Ryanair costs = £96.20 + £28.50 + £9.50 + £60 = £194.20

Even without the £60 extra bag charge, this is £134.20

The costs of the flight were £50.48.

Cost for mandatory extras = 166% extra on top of the flight costs.
Plus the bag charge its 285%